Stoicism

Like everyone who has lived for more than a few decades, I have faced tragedy and hardship in my life. I have had a child die, an artery issue that put me in the hospital for 9 days, faced unemployment, broken bones and other setbacks. That said, I face each day with thankfulness and joy, in part due to my faith, family and friends, and by using teachings from the Stoics.

Stoicism was a dominant philosophical system in ancient Greece and Rome. The founder of Stoic thought was Zeno of Citium, a Greek who, in ~300 BC, taught that peace of mind came from living a life of virtue in accordance with nature. Seneca (4BC–65 AD) wrote essays and letters dealing with moral issues that remain relevant for a life on purpose today.

Stoics taught that most of what man seeks in life – health, wealth, pleasure and power – are not inherently good nor bad, but that virtues, like justice, courage, wisdom and discipline are the only 'good.' Every obstacle life throws at us is an opportunity to practice a virtue. And while we don't control what happens in our lives, we can control how we react.

1. Acceptance is Important

I have found that angst and fear come in the hiding of issues rather than facing them head on. As a young leader I would often not let my boss or co-workers know about a budding issue – I was too cocky to admit that something in my area of responsibility was going wrong. I learned over time that nothing ever good comes from 'sweeping things under a rug.' The Stoics believe that we must accept the world as it is. Epictetus taught us to Bear and Forbear. Abraham Lincoln's life is a great testament to that motto – he was famous for acknowledging that the pain was there but resolved to act and plowed forward. Stoics teach us to love fate (Amor Fati in Latin) – an attitude of seeing everything that happens in our lives, even pain and suffering, as good, or at least necessary.

2. Build an Inner Citadel

The Stoics believed that we should build an Inner Citadel – a cache of tools and thinking that can be called upon in times of need. I think of it as a place inside me of peace and contentment, despite what is going on outside. For me these tools include breathing, exercise, walks in nature, waking up every day thanking God for the positive things in my life, and always believing that a positive outcome is possible in every situation. Forgiveness of others is key to strong inner strength. For years I was angry with my father, who moved me into a different school every year from 3rd to 10th grade. I have forgiven him for that selfishness, and that anger no longer has a hold on me.

3. Negative Emotions Can Be Controlled

While often misunderstood, Stoicism isn't about a life with no emotion – rather it is a thoughtful approach believing that the essence of joy is controlling negative emotions. Marcus Aurelius wrote "Your soul takes on the color of your thoughts." In other words, we get to decide how we look at things – will we choose to be miserable or awed, will we be fearful or confident? The issue often isn't the event – but the story we tell ourselves about the event.

4. Action is Key

What I enjoy most about Stoicism is that it is a philosophy of action, not just contemplation. Stoics teach thought, action and then acceptance. They don't just dream, expect and wait. Some of the most unhappy people I have met I would describe as 'stuck.' My experience has shown that those most joyful are not those who have seen no tragedy, but those who have faced adversity – and moved their way through it.

Stoics have taught me to ask: What would I do if I was not afraid? This mindset has moved me to action – including starting my own company, well before everything was figured out.

Stoic Practices

• Memento Mori – "Remember you must die." Remembering that we are not immortal reminds us to seek the joy in life, that every day is a gift. Seneca advocated living every day "as a complete life."
• Pre-Mortem – Pre-think what could go wrong and develop a plan. Writing fears down makes me recognize paths forward and gets the thoughts out of my head into a more actionable format.
• Negative Visualization – Visualizing a negative thing (what if I were blind) and then being thankful for the positive (sight) teaches us to live in our spheres of control.
• Voluntary Discomfort – Putting oneself in challenging physical situations helps control negative emotions when things aren't going as planned.

Shakespeare said that nothing is ever bad or good, but thinking makes it so. I hope these ideas may be helpful for you to see the world from a new perspective, accept and adapt to the challenges you face, and act – doing what you can. Memento Mori!